I'M Moving!!!!!

Hey there peeps!!!  What's up??? Yes, that's right, I"M MOVING!
This will be a life changing move. I am moving to Rocky Mount, Virginia.
My mother lives there, as well as both my brothers. My sister still lives here, in Ohio, but since she cut off communication with me, and the family, there is really nothing left for me here. Granted my boyfriend's family still lives here, he is willing to pick up, and move with me. Lucky for me, Jeff already knows most of my family, so it won't be so strange for everyone. His mother is the depressive clingy type, who always relies on Jeff for mostly everything. She is upset that he is going, and tries to find excuses for him to stay longer. We were orginally suppose to leave on May 19th, but since his parents are taking a weekend vacation, to Michigan, they have asked, if we would stay until May 20th or 21st, so his parents can say Good-Bye! For those of you that does not know the story I will now tell you.........

Jeff and I were married, from January 1996, to July 1998. But in May of  1997, we were living with his parents for a while now, anyways in May of 97, I started hanging around an old male friend, I would meet him at his house, down the street, and we would have a couple drinks, and bullshit. Never any SEX!!!!
Anyways, on Jeff's mother's birthday, she decides she is going to kick me out.. Jeff's mom never liked me from 1993, when we went to Virginia to start a life down there then, but as I said before, his mom was too damn clingy, and since Jeff and I were not married then, she did not feel that he was obligated to stay there, with me.... So between 1993-1997, Jeff and I had to deal with his mom, but we finally made it to the altar, at the time, his mom thought we did it for spite. But we were in love then, and apparently still are.Anyways when I was hanging around this male friend, Jeff's mom was not too pleased, so out I went, and where was Jeff? Hiding out in the basement, letting her kick me out, So I called my male friend, who came and got me. Instead of Jeff fighting for me to stay, he helped me pack up my friend's car. So I took off and started a life with this male friend. After Jeff and I were finally divorced, This friend and I were married. We were together for 8 years, and the last 2 years, we have lived apart. Anyways while I was with my new husband, Jeff did a google search for supposedly, the whole 9 years we were apart, he searched for me. He found me in April of 2005, my new husband and I were already having problems, and Jeff told me his feelings for me, and I told him my feeling for my new husband, and my feelings for him. It's apparent that Jeff won my heart, but he really didn't have to fight too hard, because he always had my heart.

But if only the world knew the shit Jeff and I deal with, when it comes to his mother, people wouldn't blame us for leaving. Jeff's younger sister Katie is stuck here for at least another year and a half. She is upset as well, at her brother's big move. She has grown up with him in her life, and now he's leaving. I know it must be hard on her, but she has asked if she can move down with us when she does move, but that would be all up to her and her other half. I do not wish to seperate Jeff from his family at all, and I know we will more than likely come back to visit, next year.

Folks, I'm not a home wreacker, and I do believe in family. Family needs to be together, and be there for each other. It pains me, to hear that Jeff wants to get away from his family, because of the way they treat him. He needs peace of mind. He also says that his feels that if he does leave his father will take on more responciblity and be the husband he should be, and maybe his mother's knee operation would heal much better, if she started doing stuff for herself, and Jeff feels that with him here, neither parent will fend for themselves. So Jeff gone, who will help them out?    Themselves!!!!!   And Jeff will finally have a life of his own....

So now anyways, we are leaving on May 21st. But if the parents come home from their trip early, we may leave on the 20th.  I will still want you all too write to me. Thank Goodness for Technology.

Well peeps, if you want to comment    GO FOR IT !!!!!!

my family

Hey my space:

  Well I have a situation, that has gotten me, a little ticked off.

It deals with my family.

Tuesday, my grandmother passed away, she was 90 years old. Well the situation was (is), that I have no tranportation,to go to the funeral, and most of my family lives in Va., the same place as Grandma.

I have one uncle that lives in Oh. So I contacted him, to ask if I could hitch a ride with him. Well here's the real clincher, his oldest daughter didn't know if she was going to go, at the last minute, she decided she will go, and take all her kids. Which left me no room in the Jimmy.

So today is the day that they are having the calling hours, then tommorrow she will be buried.

The main reason I feel so bad, is because when my Dad died, I had no transportation then either, then my mom's sister dies, and my huisband refuses to let me go, now it's my mom's mom who is gone, and I can't be there for her. Like she was for me, so many years ago.

Hopefully one day, I can make this up to her, I don't know how, but believe me, I WILL.......   EVEN IF IT KILLS ME............ I OWE HER EVERYTHING..........

YES, PEEPS....... I LOVE MY MOM DEEPLY........

That's just the way I am............

Later

FATE!

Well it has been awhile since my last blog.

Since my last one was about my husband, and ex-husband, let me fill you in.

I have recently left my husband, for good, to be with the ex-husband.

Before I wasn't sure were me and the ex stood.

Now I know, he has been searching for me, ever since I left him 9 years ago.

I always had him in my heart, and I suppose he always had me in his heart.

So now we are together again.

His famly is good with it, my family is good with it, so when I divorce my present husband, the ex and I can have the life we were suppose to have.

We will both be very happy, I know this because all our friends and family have seen changes in us, since we have been back together ( good changes).

We may even get married again, who can tell, but us. We want to, but I also want to wait a liitle. Maybe July 2008. The ex has already picked out the date. It's the day, he first asked me out, the first time. He is so romantic that way,

I know if he reads this blog, he will get all embarassed.

SORRY HONEY! 

Gotta go peeps, catch you on the flip side........

BEST FRIENDS

We all have friends, RIGHT??

Well I would like to tell you, about one of my friends.

Her name is Ruby.

She is only 15 days older than myself.

She has 5 childern, 1 granddaughter, and a grandchild on the way. (i'll let you know what the second grandchild is when i find out).

Anyways on to my friend.

In September of 2005, my husband and I became homeless.

Why we won't discuss right now.

Anyways, I needed a place to stay, and she offered her house, but only for me.

My husband had other arrangements.

Anyways, it has been 9 months now, and we are still homeless, and my friend, let's me hang at her house, on the weekends.

She tries to feed me, dinner, but because she has a household of people, I usually back out.

Her family comes first.

Well I got the shocker of my life, yesterday.

She told me, she considers me, part of her family.

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention. She is black, and I am white.

Believe you me, I am far far away from being prejudice, I accept all people, no matter their race.

Also as an added bonus, Her oldest daughter, asked me, to be her daughter's Godmother. I accepted.

Now not to boost, but I have the cutest little Goddaughter, in Lake County, Ohio.

Her name is ALAKA.... She is soooooo adorable.

Anyways I thank God, everyday, for my friend RUBY.

THANK YOU GOD< FOR BRINGING RUBY INTO MY LIFE!!!!!!

 

 

T

work

Work really sucks!!!!

I work in a factory, 8 hours a day, 5 days a week.

Boy is it a shithole......

I have one special line, that I work at everyday.Let me tell you how boring it can be..

It is so boring, that I usually find another job, to do...

But today, my foreman must have thought I was Superwoman, or something....

For he decided that I could run, 2 other lines, including my own.

Lucky for me, my best friend, was there to help me out...

THANKS to Ruby, she is a real life saver.

lovelife

Why must love be soooo blind?

About 9 years ago, I was married to a man, who meant everything to me.  (jdk)

But I didn't know how he felt about me.

We were living with his parents, ( due to the fact that my family was all out-of-state).

While we were there, things were said, and done towards me, by his mother, and kid sister.

I don't remember one time, he stuck up for me.

So I always assumed, that his love died for me, and that he didn't care, about me, one way or the other.

So I left, when I left, I left with another man.(jct).

This other man, I had known for 7 years, and I always wanted a relationship with him.

So after almost 2 years of marriage, and with me out of his life, my husband filed for divorce.

I then married the other man.

It has been 8 topsy-turvy years, and it seems like it is all going down hill.

Now after the 9 years away from the before mentioned husband. He has contacted me,via e-mail.

I was surprised to hear from him, but I was glad I did.

The feelings I had, for him, were still there, I never really wanted to leave him in the first place.

But when he contacted me, my marriage was,and still is kinda crappy.

I still talk to the ex-husband on a daily basis, but I believe he is getting mixed signals.

Yes, I would Love to be with him again, but I don't want him to think, that I want to be with him, because my marriage is crappy.

I want to be with him, because I regret leaving him, in the first place.

But no matter, how many times I tell him this, I feel he doesn't believe me.

My mother thinks, that he wants to be with me too, but he is scared that he will get hurt again. He feels that I may walk out on him again.

I have promised him, that I wouldn't make the same mistake twice.People do learn from their mistake, I learned from mine.......

I would like to know how he truly feels, because right now, he just wants to be friends.

I know I have to be patient, and wait and see what the future my hold, but if you know me, I am very impatient.(I think I get that from my dad).

I have been told, that when we were together, We seemed to be very happy. And if we can talk on the phone for hours, and hours, with not really saying alot, but just general talk, that, that is what a relationship should be like.

My present husband, and I have had little to talk about, and we are lacking in a certain department. ( over 1 yr.).

I have been told, by friends, that if it has been so long, that either he is cheating on me, or he is at the age, where it doesn't arouse him, or he may be doing something, somewhere.      Who can say what he does..... Or how he feels..... He never really expresses himself.....

I think that my ex-husband, thinks I want him back, just for sex......

Well I'm not going to deny the fact, that when we were together, that the sex was good, but I'm not after him, just for sex....... UNDERSTAND!!!!!!

Yes, I tease him about it, but that is all it is.....TEASING.....

I would never go through with it, because I'm afraid, that,that would push him out of my life all-together.... Which I don't think I could handle that again.....

There is one other thing, that the ex-husband, could be afraid of.....

While being married to my present husband, I have strayed, (husband doesn't know). But ex-husband does.

My ex-husband, could also be thinking, she cheated on him, who's to say, she won't cheat on me???

My ex-husband, never ever gave me any reasons to cheat on him, never did before, and if we did get back together, I NEVER WILL!!!!!

Well all I can do is wait, and see what fate, and the good LORD, has in store for me.....

I HOPE IT'S WITH THE EX_HUSBAND, because I was happy, with him, and I know he was happy with me.

And I hope we can be happy again, together...............

 

nothing in paticular

This is my first time, blogging, so I'm not sure, if I am doing this correctly.

My life is pretty much like a roller coaster, it has twists, and turns, sharp corners, up hills, and down hills.

But everyone knows how that goes.

I have made mistakes in my life.

The biggest mistake was leaving my second husband.

At the time, I didn't know how he felt, but I know I was HURTING and very CONFUSED.

Now 9 years later, he's back in my life.

I am married to someone else, and the relationship is going sour.

No people, not because of the EX either. It is because my husband enjoys living his life like a bum, and I don't.

He refuses to get a job, and a stable living arrangements.

Anyways back to the EX.

He is a good guy, in sooooooo many ways.

To this day, I don't know why I truly left.     The problems we had, could've, and should've been easily worked through, but I guess, I didn't want to work things out, I felt walking out was better.

 

PEOPLE----   Work through your problems first, talk about them, and find some kind of agreement between the two of you. Because walking out, could one day come back, and bite you right on your ass!!!!!